Do you feel like you are not being taken seriously?
When you’re delivering information, do your listeners start to problem solve…when what you meant to do was give them answers?
Do you think you’re being held back in your organization or being passed by for a job or promotion?
Somewhere along the line you may have learned to believe that, as a woman, if you raise your voice an octave, or become ‘cute’ that you will magically melt the person in front of you and get what you want from them.
This might work at home and with your friends, but if this style is a permanent state of communication for you, it may be holding you back in business; and, that is when it becomes an issue!
It is easy to lapse into a voice that is comfortable for us – but how we talk to our family and friends may not be appropriate for a business meeting.
If your voice and tone goes up at the end of every sentence it may imply to your listener that you don’t trust yourself or that you are uncertain of what you are saying. It may also appear that you are looking for validation or approval.
If you are seeking a decision vs. seeking an approval, the question mark should come at the end when you ask “What are some possible solutions for this issue?” If you have an implied question mark with your voice raising at the end of each sentence your audience won’t have confidence in what you are saying and it will seem as if you are constantly looking for something from them – when actually, they are looking for something from you!
Here’s an example…
Imagine this example (read it aloud):
“Those boxes(?) of inventory in the corner(?) You said you wanted to catalogue the contents (?) and I have an idea(?) We could create a workbook(?) in Excel (?) and create a spreadsheet for each box (?), and tape it(?) on the front of each box (?) so the staff will know what’s in them(?). Would that work for you(?).”
What is being said in this example is that you have a good idea for organizing your workplace – the words are right – it’s the voice and tone that are the problem. The words coming out of your mouth are intelligent but your message and ideas become hard to hear in the words because of the inflection.
Different Voices
There is no denying that there are different voices we use, depending on who we are with – don’t give up the fun kid voice you share with your close friends or family – you can speak to them however you want.
Do you have one friend that as soon as they phone everyone around you knows exactly who you are talking to because of the voice and words you use? That’s okay! But, if you want to be sent out to represent your organization (or represent yourself in business) you can have the greatest business suit and haircut on the planet and have all the right words prepared to say, but you must have a voice that can instill confidence in your listeners.
Do I Do This?
So, as you read this and you may be wondering … Do I do this? Is this me? How will I know?
Many times we operate on a sub-conscious level because we have done something for so long it seems normal to us (and even to those around us). A friend once said to me that her husband married her for her Scottish accent and now he no longer hears it – we become very accustomed to the people we are with the most.
How Will I Know?
Find someone you trust and ask them some key questions – this could be your one of your friends or family, but probably more applicable would be someone from your workplace or a former professor or teacher. If you are in a business networking group where you regularly speak but you’re not getting any referrals, ask someone that you have connected with there.
People that love you or work with you will never tell you something that they think might hurt your feelings – unless you ask.
Approach them and ask them clear questions such as:
- When I speak, what impression do you get?
- If you didn’t know me would you describe my speaking as assertive, young or mature?
- Do I sound like I know what I am talking about?
- Am I speaking with confidence about my subject?
Note of caution: If you are reading this article and know someone this applies to, don’t pass them this article unless they ask – we must remember to be gentle with each other and people need to see us kindly in order to take our advice or learn from us. We can’t just tell people things because we believe it will help them – thinking kindly is about respecting someone – if they respect you they will ask you for your opinion.
- Does your voice go up?
- Are you pitched an octave or two above the rest of the contributors?
- Are you rushing through the words?
- Do you have cutesy little giggles?
- After you finish speaking are people giving you solutions?
- When you speak don’t make what you say sound like a question – keep the inflection down or even at the end of your sentences.
- Take your voice down an octave.
- Keep recording yourself and note improvements
- Work up the courage to ask someone you trust
- Remember if you deliver your message in the form of a question you end up leading your listener to try and find solutions for you and what you have just told them – you will get completely off track and lose momentum for what you want to accomplish.
- Voice coaching can be a powerful business tool – it is not just for theatrical and musical performers. Start thinking of your clients as your audience and you on the stage – get a standing ovation from them – or at least a sale!
If you are not sure what this voice sounds like, or if you think you might be speaking in your high school voice and want some help with speaking in the business environment, give me a call at 250.418.5982 or send me an email.